It can be difficult to navigate autism and boundaries. Many autistic people have a literal relationship with language and may not be aware of social etiquette rules that neurotypical people naturally acquire as they mature. Autistic individuals often need the support of a parent or caregiver to understand and engage with these social rules.
Teaching social boundaries to autistic individuals from a young age is a great way to ensure they grow up with realistic expectations and behaviours. In this blog, we look at how to set boundaries with an autistic person, as well as ways to support autistic individuals when their boundaries have been broken.
Many social interactions rely heavily on context, which can cause confusion when teaching boundaries to people with autism. For example, a parent or caregiver asking an autistic person how they are should elicit a different response than when someone they don’t know very well asks the same question.
Without knowledge of social boundaries, an autistic person might overshare when a simple “Okay, thanks, how are you?” would be more appropriate.
Social scripts are a great way to help clarify social boundaries for autistic people. There are many online resources with clear explanations of social conventions, guidance on navigating social situations, and conversation starters broken down into different scenarios.
Not knowing how to communicate or react appropriately in a given situation can lead to miscommunication or bluntness. Scripts provide clear guidance and reduce overwhelm.
Context is especially important when setting bodily boundaries with autistic people. Clearly explain situations in which different rules apply. For example, a handshake may involve touching hands, while a hug from a trusted friend may involve touching backs.
Only trusted individuals - such as doctors during examinations or caregivers when bathing - should be allowed to touch private areas.
It’s also important to explain that while it is okay to be naked when bathing or changing, clothes should be worn in public spaces such as parks or streets.
Autistic children and young people should be encouraged to use correct clinical names for body parts so they can clearly communicate if someone violates their boundaries.
There are three key principles to keep in mind:
Establish consistent rules and stick to them. If exceptions arise, explain why they exist so expectations remain clear.
Autistic people need just as much autonomy as neurotypical people. Collaborate with them to create boundaries that meet their needs and agree on how those boundaries will be respected.
Autistic children are often dismissed or misunderstood when expressing discomfort. Parents and caregivers may need to intervene and advocate if others attempt to override a child’s expressed boundaries.
Teaching autistic individuals to recognise when they are overwhelmed and how to step away is essential. Overwhelm can lead to a meltdown, which may involve becoming non-verbal or unresponsive.
Sensory rooms are ideal for self-regulation. Features such as bubble tubes and sensory wall panels can be customised to individual needs.
Teaching simple phrases can help autistic people communicate the need for space before reaching sensory overload:
Communication can be more challenging for non-verbal autistic individuals or those with limited speech. Assistive communication tools can help bridge this gap.
IRiS wireless products allow users to control sensory equipment using simple controllers.
For example, LED lighting can be used to signal boundaries:
This approach allows autistic individuals to communicate boundaries without relying on speech.
Autism affects everyone differently, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach. To learn more, please get in touch or explore additional autism resources on our blog.