Taking a child with autism to a family gathering can feel like a massive undertaking. Breaking from routine and being taken to an unfamiliar place can unsettle many autistic children, while the loud noises, bright lights, and unusual food tastes and smells that feature at most festive family gatherings could overstimulate an unprepared autistic child.
With holidays like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas all around the corner, attending family gatherings with an autistic child may seem incredibly daunting. Thankfully this uphill battle can be won with the right preparation, with your child as well as other guests. In this article, we will outline our top ten tips to ensure that your next family gathering is as autism friendly as it can be.
While everyone at your family gathering may be familiar with autism, it is still worth prepping guests beforehand to ensure that they are fully aware of your child's specific needs. Key topics to cover include:
If you are unable to speak to everyone individually, sending an email prior to the event is the next best thing. This would also give you the opportunity to attach some relevant resources for the guests to read such that they can improve their understanding of autism and sensory differences.
Make sure you speak to the host about autism before the family gathering, explaining not only how your child may act but why. As the social difficulties autistic individuals face largely manifest in how they communicate, enhancing the host’s understanding of the relationship between autism and social development will enable them to communicate with your child as successfully as possible.
The most important preparation you can make is to talk to your child with autism about the family gathering far in advance. Explain that something out of their usual routine will be happening, then proceed to discuss it frequently in the weeks leading up to the event to encourage a sense of excitement.
When an autistic child is going back to school or attending a new school, they are often given a document known as a ‘student passport’ that includes pictures of their new teachers and classrooms so that they can familiarize themselves ahead of the new school year. If you’re going out, then creating a similar document with pictures of the venue and the other guests, is a great way to prepare your autistic child for a family gathering.
If possible, we would highly recommend visiting the venue with your child before the gathering such that they can get to know the space in a more controlled environment.
When you speak to the host of the gathering, ask them what activities they have planned, what music will be playing, and what sort of food will be on offer. Having this information will give you the opportunity to expose your child to any unfamiliar or extreme senses in a controlled environment. Then, if any games, songs or foods might be overstimulating your child, you can plan ahead to prevent a meltdown.
If your child was unable to eat any of the party food, or you could not find the food and are concerned that trying new food could be the tipping point in an already highly stimulating scenario, you may want to bring your own food with you. This will make things easier for your child and the host, who might have been worrying about making additional provisions to accommodate your child’s autism at the family gathering.
Make sure that you explain to the host that you are bringing your own food, as this will greatly aid in their planning, as well as avoid any unintentional offense. Be aware that many restaurants don’t allow outside food; if you have any concerns, try calling ahead to see if they can accommodate your child.
As foreign environments and deviation from routine are key triggers for autistic children, it remains pivotal to foster as much consistency and familiarity on the day of the event as possible. Ensure that you bring along several objects, toys and accessories as these will serve as calming distractions for your autistic child should the family gathering become too overwhelming.
Figure out a good 'safe space' for your child should they require alone time. Having a little sensory backpack on hand will be an absolute lifesaver should they start to feel overwhelmed. Portable sensory tools perfect for sensory-friendly travel include sensory cushions and Perfect Petzzz, while portable bubble tubes are ideal for setting up in your designated safe space.
Family gatherings provide the perfect opportunity to develop socialization in autistic children but be wary that forcing interactions could overwhelm your child, triggering a meltdown and making them reluctant to attend future gatherings.
While you may want to read social narratives and practice simple social interactions with your autistic child before the family gathering, try not to place any expectations on them. Allow them to seek out interactions on their own.
Throughout the event, remain with your child and be on the lookout for signs of emotional volatility while remembering to reward any good behavior. Chances are, simply being aware of your child’s well-being will help make the gathering a resounding success.
The level or type of autism your child has may impact their ability to engage or cope with a family gathering. While there are various developmental disorders that fall somewhere on the autism spectrum, generally speaking, there are three levels of autism:
1. Low support needs – Children may need support when initiating interactions, switching between activities and making decisions, such as what to eat from a buffet.
2. Moderate support needs – Children may struggle to engage in social interactions even with support, can become distressed by change and find comfort in repetitive behavior, such as talking about or doing the same thing.
3. High support needs – Children at the highest level may be completely unable to communicate other than to repeat particular words or phrases and can become incredibly distressed by changes.
Depending on your child’s level of autism, family gatherings could be challenging or potentially impossible for them to engage with, regardless of the level of support they need. If your child possesses moderate or high support needs, it is crucial that a sensory space is on hand should they start to feel distressed.
A little preparation goes a very long way. If you can adapt the environment at your family gathering to your autistic child's sensory preferences and keep everyone in the loop, your child and family will feel considerably more comfortable, and these gatherings can be enjoyable for everyone!
If you need some portable equipment for an upcoming event or need any more advice on how to make your family gathering autism-friendly, get in touch, and a member of our team will help you.
Cecilia
Cruse, MS. OTR/L, holds a bachelor’s degree in Occupational Therapy from
the University of Florida and a master’s in Education from Georgia State
University. A SIPT-certified professional, Cecelia has gained over 30 years of
pediatric experience in various settings, including Augusta University.
An accomplished consultant and author, she has
appeared on CNN’s Health Watch and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Cecilia has
also served as a Subject Matter Expert for the Abilitations/School Specialty
Special Needs Division and lectures nationwide on sensory solutions for
educators and therapists.
